In what will certainly go down as one of the most ridiculous press conferences of 2015, Tom Brady stepped up to the podium in Foxborough Thursday afternoon and addressed the frenzied press regarding the football-deflation scandal now known as Deflategate.Brady, wearing his finest New England Patriots beanie, spent much of the press conference denying his involvement in any tampering. He wove in details about how he likes his balls, declared his respect for the integrity of the game and even made reference to ISIS, the Islamic extremist group that does far worse things than doctor footballs.Suffice it to say, Brady's presser jumped the tracks here and there, and through all the strange turns, a colossal contingency of American sports fans and media members appears to have emerged unconvinced of the Patriots' claims to ignorance regarding ball deflation.Here's a smattering of the reaction to Brady's conference, starting with the general belief that he may not have been entirely truthful:Then Brady explained his preparation and personal preference of footballs:Tom Brady: "I'm not squeezing the balls. That's not part of my process.""Some guys like them round. Some guys like them thin. Some guys like them tacky. Some guys like old balls." --greatest quote everThis has gone from a serious presser to an SNL skit in a matter of minutes. #DeflateGate #BallsToo many balls lines. SNL has their opening skit.Well, I have filled my DeflateGate sexual euphemism bingo card. Off to the gym.Brady also made the aforementioned ISIS remark, reminding the viewing public that the real enemy to American exceptionalism isn't the Patriots equipment managers.Naturally, the hot-taking and critiques began anew before Brady had even left the platform.One strong response came from former Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback Mark Brunell, who appeared quite shaken up in the immediate aftermath of the conference:There you have it, a real-life carnival with a corresponding one in cyberspace. As for the investigation, it could be some time before the NFL passes judgment on the ball-deflation scandal, considering Brady and Patriots coach Bill Belichick—the central figures one would believe would know and care most about these meticulous preparations—have no idea what happened in this case. Get ready for more ball talk, sports fans. Until the whistle blows in Glendale, Arizona, we're all in for an extended stay in middle school.Until then, the Patriots have put forth the story that no one knows much of anything, particularly how the footballs wound up underinflated. Coach Bill Belichick said it's nothing he concerns himself with and that doing such a thing runs counter to his deal-with-it, no-excuses style of coaching.On Thursday morning he told everyone to talk to Brady. A few hours later, Brady said the footballs felt great when he selected them pregame and were turned into the referee for proper measuring. After that, he noticed nothing. Not that they were correct, underinflated or back to correct.He said he didn't order anyone to deflate the ball and knew of no one who did. He said he asked the Patriots equipment men about it, they denied doing anything and "I believe them." This may be more than the NFL has done.So it's all a magical mystery. Brady is as confused as anyone."I didn't feel any different," Brady said of the footballs from pregame, to first half to second half. "I would just assume it was the same thing …"I wouldn't know on a particular play. It was a wet, cold, windy night," he continued. "I get the snap, I grip it, I try to throw the ball. I don't try to squeeze [the football] … [I] didn't feel the difference between the first half and the second half when they were supposedly even more inflated. I didn't notice anything different."He actually was statistically better in the second half, for whatever that's worth."I would never do anything outside the rules of play," Brady said. "I would never have someone do something outside the rules."You either believe Tom Brady or you don't. You either believe he instructed someone to lighten the ball, or you think it just somehow happened, or you believe a low-level Patriot staffer went rogue on the future Hall of Fame quarterback before the biggest game of the season.Whatever. The debate will rage. It will rage forever unless the NFL finds a smoking air pump. Otherwise, it's a whodunit."I think over the last few days everyone is trying to figure out, as the NFL is trying to figure out … what happened," Brady said.Well, everyone appears to be trying harder than the NFL.Most troubling news out of Tom Brady's deflate-gate comments: NFL hasn't talked to QB rg3 press conference 9/15/13 tom brady 9gag taliban press conference 9/11 tom brady 99 rumsfeld press conference 9 10 01 tom brady 95 mut seahawks press conference 9/11 tom brady 9 11 cleats obam
